At
least 80% of them will tell you that the siblings of their husbands were more
interested in property and money than the welfare of the family their late
brother left behind. Some have gone home for burial only to come back to a flat
vandalized by in-laws trying to get their own share of their brother’s goodies
irrespective of whether the man and his wife for those things together. Others
are immediately thrown out or given a quit notice of they are living in a
shared compound with an in-law; they do not want the woman and the children to
get the impression that they are part-owners of the house. And the stories can
go on.
On
the other hand, some women try to disregard or push aside all late husband’s
siblings as if they are not also grieving and missing whatever contribution the
man was making to the big family when he was alive.
By
and large, we have to try and appreciate one thing; fraternity or brotherly
love in the bigger family or kindred is one cultural value that Africans still
have in abundance and which we must all try and maintain, reclaim and even
export.
Given
that civilization, adventure and quest for knowledge is scattering us abroad,
we should all do whatever it takes to keep in touch with home, care for the
family members enough to continuously forgive their failings and help however
we can.
A
widow who has children for a family should be helped to bring up those children
because they belong there and not to her maiden family. And there’s hardly
anyone who will not pay back love with love at the appropriate time. You cannot
claim to love your brother and make him weep in the grave by ill-treating his
family. And a woman who has the means should not neglect her mother-in-law whom
her husband was catering for before his demise.
In
short, let’s always put ourselves in our neighbor’s shoes and show practical
love. And we see that the hand that gives is always on top.
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