Today we will still stay with the issue of gender
differences but look at the psychosocial angle and cultural effect on marital
relationship.
We live in a patriarchal society where men are in charge of
almost all structures in the society. The Holy Book endorses this scenario by
making men the head of the families. Africans have gone to every length to rub
this headship into the psyche and marrow of every woman by translating headship
to mean domination to the extent that some of them want to attribute greater
intelligence to the males when our competition in class have proven
otherwise. What I find intriguing is
that every man passes through a woman, not just in childbirth but also in
nurturing to be what he is. And then, women, in some instances are beginning to
undermine their roles as mothers and nurturers because the new world of speed
and frenzy is not giving that role the accolade that it deserves.
In my book on sexuality and abstinence I tried to explore
the wonders of womanhood and the greatness of a man. There I stressed that the
uniqueness of a woman lies in her ability to be generative—to give life and
nurturance to another- be that other- her child, ward, spouse, co-workers and
what have you. The man’s greatness, on the other hand lies in his ability to
control his hormone driven excesses and help all those in his care to be the
best they can possibly be.
Discussants? Are men
and women living out this God-given mandate in our families, governance and all
leadership positions? Are women truly giving life to everyone around them and
if not why not?
Are men in our society leading us all to achieve our best in
the contest of this definition.
Points to note is
that men want their space; they prefer to bottle up their burdens rather than
share them, they are self absorbed and self centered. Women want to share to
carry your burden or theirs with you, they want heart to heart connection, they
want to be appreciated and showered with attention even at ninety. We need to
understand these differences and use them to our advantage in relationships
rather than to disadvantages.
TIP for the week
The home and the growing up stages of our lives are
nest and the period for grooming in wholesome living and leading others to do
the same. Some had it good, while some didn’t. I recommended that those were so
traumatized that they can’t have meaningful relationships with people or are
always angry at the society should not seek to lead others nor be allowed to do
so yet. Let them go to experienced counselors and God for healing so that they
can lead themselves before leading others.
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