EPISODE 6 - MARITAL RELATIONS (PART 1)

There are certain underlying personal problems that make people get moody, irritable and if they continue long enough, those issues may compromise the efficiency of the worker and it is worse if he or she is a leader in the organization. The major culprit is marital relations i.e. libido problems and emotional starvation.

Libido or sexual desire is intrinsic in man and in most cases it is even made the basis of the relationship. While I do not promote the opinion and have actually formed an N.G.O to canvass against extra-marital sex, it is given that married couples need that union for intimacy, healing of past hurts and procreation. And so when the man cannot perform or the women cannot be aroused in the family- a major problem is created. Reduction in libido can be due to emotional, psychological, drug-induced or due to a change in the level of the sex hormone especially at midlife.

Emotionally, when one is unhappy or not attracted to the partner, the urge for sex reduces. It is often said that men are moved by what they see while women are moved by what they feel. So if the man doesn’t like what he sees or the woman feels unloved, libido may be affected; if you are psychologically exhausted or when a man is made to feel inferior, inadequate, it further reduces his hormone level and worsens the libido. Some medications like some kind of diabetic or blood pressure drugs may affect one’s libido. Then of course as we approach midlife and beyond like from about 40 years upwards one’s sexual hormones decreases.

In all these cases, you don’t solve the problem by blaming each other or adding to the stress by nagging or being unduly suspicious. And going outside to test your prowess with someone else is like pouring some fuel over a smoldering fire—the consequences are far beyond the problem that sent you out in the first instance. Effective communication is a better approach; find out the root cause and seek professional help if possible. The 3-stage sensate techniques described in my books has helped some people, using trusted supplements like daminan, ginseng root, and sesame seeds are worth trying. The problem of emotions and  self worth are often taken for granted but  their effects in issue like love and sex are tremendous.

IN THE CASE OF THE MAN.....ego, childhood surgery for hernia, medications ---

AS FOR THE WOMAN.... show of love not usage, hormone imbalance seems....

But most importantly, realize that a decrease in libido is not a curse and should never dent a genuine relationship; it is probably a call to focus on other important aspects of intimacy such as heart to heart connection, effective communication, trust and being there for each other.

For further info check out my book on marriage titled, '' MARRIAGE--A CROWN AND A ROSE'' in the bookshops or at kindlepublishers.